What's Up? I'll show you...

"What's up?" she mused, over the phone.
"Yeah...nothing much," I replied, casually. The question has become redundant now-a-days. 'How are you' has now been dethroned by 'Wassup' as the official greeting line. Too bad if you're on the internet, chatting.
"ssup?"
"nm"
"k.."
"n wt else?"
"nm..u say.."

Chat-o-freaks, I tell you. They've got nothing to say and they claim they're chatting. And while the chat-o-lingo takes over our lives, I fear an official molestation of the English language. 'Nothing much' has been replaced by 'nm'...so make that NM college of Management Studies as Nothing Much College of Management Studies. Let's see how the admissions go.
A deadly and gorgeous female from our class has mutilated the lingo even further. She's replaces 'Wassup' or 'ssup' with 'sp'.
Ha! Sardar Patel just moved in his grave. Wassup Jain College of Management Studies. Even better admission prospects.

But even more irksome is the fact, that even though there might not be anything up in your life, you're persistently asked 'Wassup' at every other corner. Dodging and steering through Yahoo chat windows is not an onerous task, but can become one, thanks to the 'Wassup culture'. Completely annoyed by its ramifications, one day, I decided to give a piece of my mind to a chat-friend of mine.
"Hey..wasup?" the text bounced on my screen, out of the blue. I decided not the reply.
"BUZZ!" he went as the room rang shrill with the Yahoo buzzer. I'd had enough. This guy was indeed desperate to know what was up in my life. I began...
"Hey..howdy man? ntn much yaar...woke up in the mornin..went for a pee, brushed my teeth only to realise it was shaving cream that I was brushing with. Then shaved my under-arms with Old Spice. Had breakfast comprising of owl-meat and hairy legs, topped it up with milk. Wanted to watch TV, but mom was hooked on to it. So logged on to 'Gay for Pay' on the internet. It was cool, you know...you should catch it sometime..."

We're distant friends now. And why not? The next time one of us ever asked, 'wassup', we flung ourselves at a distance from each other.

-------

Telecom networks made brisk business lately, thanks to the fervent protests against reservations across the country. While public outcry is vociferous on TV channels, a silent revolution has been hogging SMSes with enormous efficacy. Arjun Singh jokes are a clear favourite - right from his sexual proclivities to the famous dialogue of Deewar...
"Mere paas IIT ka PG degree hai, IIM (A) ka MBA hai..tumhare paas kya hai?"
"Mere paas reservation hai!"
The impact, I believe has been equally registered in the virtual world through the 'Youth For Equality' blog and its associated Yahoo Group. Long live the revolution.

Having said that, I must admit I'm bugged with same old 'Mail from an AIIMS student' and 'Please forward..oppose quotas', 'Imp: Youth for equality'...
As if this was not enough, banking on the Orkut craze, a canard has surfaced about closing accounts of inactive Orkut users. For conspiracy theorists and for the revulutionaries, a community has been set up to work upon breaking this system of chain mails. Join in...

Mission Break the Chain
http://www.orkut.com/Community.aspx?cmm=14208765

Also, if you wish to verify the authenticity of donor mails, which claim that 10 cents from Yahoo will be donated for a cause for every forward, here are a few useful links...
http://www.breakthechain.org/

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/


----------

The advertising industry has finally tasted blood, albeit the cola wars are subtle this time. Ads from the cola majors - Pepsi and Coke are something we look forward to, but this time, the fun seems to have been, well, fizzled out a bit. Still, no place like the Indian ad industry...

Here's a Mediaswamis round-up of some of the coolest ads this summer... (not in the order of their merit, nor reservation either)

1. Mirinda - Mouth ka karo good use
Perhaps the only cola, which managed to place itself differently using a novel concept. Zayed rocks and so does Kunal Ganjawalla.

2. Wheel - Kaun rakkhe rang
Vibrant, colourful and essentially Indian; this is a feel good ad. And yes, Kailash Kher's voice elevates it to a new pedestal altogether.

3. Monster.com - Hari Sadu
Aaaaah...now that's what you call a good one! Real good one. Mind it.

4. Parle Hide n Seek - Wanna Dance?
Flamboyance is thy name. And the packaging. Hrithik 'Krissh' Roshan does the needful and so does the danseuse.

5. Mentos - Hair Cutting Saloon
Mischief spills out in every frame with cunning intelligence. Works for Mentos.

6. Sprite - TV hota hai dekhne ke liye. Soft drink hota hai peene ke liye. Clear hai. Sprite.
A well-timed spoof launched on the very day Pepsi's silly Pepsi TV campaign was revealed. While the latter disappointed, Sprite was able to retain its nature of taunts.

7. Limca - Boondon mein
Refreshing idea and great packaging. Ideally placed for the summer. And the cool SFX make it way much better.

8. Fast-track - the FALL collection
Initially I thought they were falling for him, but English is such a funny language - wonder how come nobody used this before.

9. Coca Cola - Thande ka tadka
Aamir's presence makes all the difference. And Prasoon Joshi hasnt had enough of championing for the right cause - this time a Japani being duped in an Indian Hotel. We don't mind, as long as it works.

10. Air Tel - Power of Expression
Black and white images, a chilling background score - gives you goosebumps everytime you watch it. Amazing stuff.

-----------

Mumbai Mirror reporter Nilesh Nikade recently fell victim to jaundice. Confined to the bed and on a steamed rice diet, jaundice wasn't something that was going to escape him so easily. Sudesh Malvankar, a fellow reporter for TOI and myself paid him a visit, wherein we chided him playfully.
"Stay away from the field, leave the stories to us," we advised.
"Why?" he asked, smiling.
"You've got jaundice. Not good for your health. Not good for the stories either."
"Not good for the stories? Why?"
"Yellow journalism."


- Arcopol